Pain With Sex: A Certain End to a Romantic Evening

If there is one thing that will kill a love-making session, it’s hearing the words, “Ouch, that hurts.” While most sex is pain-free, there are a number of things that cause pain and these can be either simple or complicated.

One of the most common causes of pain during sex can be a rush to pleasure. Remember, most women take time to get warmed up to the idea and the physicality of having sex. If there is not adequate foreplay, the vagina might be dry and this can cause pain. For women who experience this, I’ve got good news. When I have patients who I suspect might be experiencing this kind of pain, I recommend that they have orgasm first, then insert the penis. Orgasm, you see, increases blood flow to the pelvic area, which lengthens and widens the vagina.

Another simple thing to remember is this.  Men do not have to thrust too deeply during sex for both partners to gain pleasure. During deep thrusting, the penis can hit the ovaries or the uterus, which in some cases can cause pain. Shallower thrusting, or a change of positions, may relieve this sort of pain. Remember, there are over 100 different sexual positions in the Kama Sutra. Have fun trying something different.

If you feel pain when a penis is inserted, it could be caused by anything from a simple yeast infection to something more complicated called vulvar vestibulitis. You need to see your doctor so they can figure out what you have. Sometimes it is an easy fix with an oral medication. Sometimes it is more complicated and could even involve a physical therapist.

Yes, I said a physical therapist. They work on muscles all over the body, including the vulva and vagina. If the muscles of the vagina are too tense, this can lead to vaginismus. Basically, what happens with vaginismus is the muscles of the vagina lock down tight and prevent the penis from being inserted

Whatever the reason, the odds are good that our experts here at the Center for Sexual Health & Education can help you find a way to get rid of your pain and help you get back to having great sex for a lifetime.

Dr Alyse Kelly-Jones   
Gynecologist – Center for Sexual Health and Education

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